5 things I believe; 5 things I know (plus one I'm not sure about)

I was in mourning again today as the church doubled down on it's exclusionary policy. So I wanted to take stock of my testimony.

Things I believe:
1.) I have witnessed many miracles that strengthened my faith in God. Would I call it a perfect knowledge? No, but it's definitely moving in that direction.

2.) I believe God is there watching over all of us, including the weak, old sinner me.

3.) I believe that Christ has the power to save us all, if we will come to Him and develop charity. (Even our LGBT brothers and sisters who enter into same-sex marriages.)

4.) I believe God wanted me to marry my wife, even though part of me really wanted to find my own personal Joseph Gordon-Levitt.

I apparently like guys in ties

5.) I also believe in the power of personal revelation.

Corollary to #5: I believe that someone who is not me (see #4) may pray to their Heavenly Father and feel that He has said that gay marriage is ok (for them).


Things I know:
1.) I know without a shadow of a doubt, with every fiber of my being that gay marriage is WAY WAY better than random gay sexual hookups. Thus I am happy for my gay friends when they establish long-term, committed relationships. (And yes, I will attend their weddings if invited.)

2.) I know that forcible rape is a much worse sin than gay marriage. (I'm pretty sure than sexual abuse and attempted murder are too.)

3.) I know that children of gay couples are loved by our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ as much as children of heterosexual couples. And they need the gift of the Holy Ghost just as much as their neighborhood friends who are allowed to be baptized.

4.) I know that children of gay couples will learn about love and charity and kindness in ways that children who happen to be raised by a father and a mother will not.

5.) I know that I love my wife (see note below) and my awesome family (see here).


Things I don't know:
1.) If my wife died, I don't know whether or not I would enter into a homosexual relationship.
Seriously. No idea. (So don't even think about dying, dear.)

Perhaps I could find some other gaymobro who wanted to stay a non-practicing homosexual. (Maybe he'd have a sexy British accent. Even better if he looked like Damien Lewis. I don't normally go for gingers, but am willing to make exceptions.)

And suits

We could enjoy a monogamous, celibate life together. You know we would totally get married, just to mess with the people at Church (capital C). And who knows, if it turns out homosexuality is ok in the next life, my partner could also be sealed to my wife and we'd all live in a state of celestial, polyandrous, ménage à trois bliss.


Footnote: Why I love my wife: reason 979
Today when I was feeling grouchy (see link above), I opened my email to find a note from my wife.

It consisted of just this clip and two words: "You're welcome"

Seriously. Best wife ever.

Father's Day 2015

On this Father's Day 2015 I want to say how grateful I am that my life turned out the way it did. Looking back I see many possible pivot points where with a different choice I would not be married to an amazing woman with such a fantastic family. (I wouldn't be completely honest if I didn't admit that there are days when I wonder what life would have been like if I had found the man of my dreams and settled down with him, but those are only days in a life of months and years.) I am certain that even if I chose differently, life would have been both marvelous and mundane because... well... because that's life.

As a teenager I knew enough not to buy into the false dichotomy that many members of the church set up. "Either you stay in the church and become a Peter Priesthood with 5 fat babies and celestial potential or you leave the church for the gay lifestyle, cruising for easy sex with anonymous people, get AIDS, and die. Your choice." That's rubbish. In high school I crushed on this one guy who was both totally hot (though kind of short) and a really nice guy. I remember one night in a moment of clarity thinking, "I could totally live with this guy (or someone like him) just the two of us and be happy OR I could get married and have a family with my own kids and be happy." (At the time I was in high school having both wasn't an option. Gay marriage and adoption are definitely opening possibilities.)

I am not in any way advocating this life for others. (It is not easy.) I'm just saying nights when we sit around singing songs from Once or watching Marx brothers movies or telling jokes that might make the bishop blush (just a bit), these nights are pure gold.