In my previous post, I looked at a couple of common analogies people use when talking about homosexuality. There is one analogy that I think does an OK job explaining what it would be like to be gay and celibate.
A newly returned missionary and a woman in his ward date, fall in love and in typical Mormon fashion are engaged to be married after a month. The day of the wedding is beautiful. The sun is shining; the smell of spring tulips fills the air. They have a reception at the church building, red punch and all. Then they leave for their new apartment where they will spend their first night together.
However, on the way to their apartment that first night, she has a stroke. By the time they get to the hospital, she is in a coma. When she doesn't revive after a month, doctors say there's only a 5% chance she'll wake up.
The groom, as painful as it would be, would take his sweetheart off life support. However, the bride's living will gives that decision to her mother, who is convinced that her daughter will wake up... someday. So she keeps her alive.
A year, two, three pass with no change in either the bride's condition or in the mother in law's refusal to give up hope that her daughter will wake up, if not today, soon.
Legally our groom is married and in Church parlance he's married for time and all eternity. But he has never had sex and, at this rate, he may never will in this life. The question is, should he even consider divorce? Is it OK for him to get a divorce so he can have that idyllic life his patriarchal blessing seemed to promise? Knowing that in general God frowns on divorce would it be better for him to live his remaining years as a married virgin? To not have someone to go home to each night? Someone with whom he can share his joys and sorrows? Someone to love and be love by?
As I've thought about this scenario (which is obviously contrived) I realize there is only one appropriate response for someone who is not the groom looking at this situation: Don't judge!
I wish we were all slower to judge each other.