Monday, May 11, 2015


I've tried to be more authentic this year--not just on my blog, but in my personal life as well. At the beginning of the year I made a few goals not really New Year's resolutions because I made them in early November. Like most New Year's Resolutions though I haven't been perfect at them, but I have patience with myself and I haven't given up.

My first goal was to write again. As a child I always wanted to be a writer. I wrote screenplays. At the end of third grade I wrote a screenplay for the Muppets meet Out of Control with a Simon and Garfunkel soundtrack. (Write what you know!) I loved losing myself in a made up world. (Sure, in third grade it was a made up world I appropriated from others; but by sixth grade it was a world of my own creation.) I remember in fourth grade when we had to do an oral report on our professional aspirations, I declared in 5 to 7 minutes that I wanted to be a screenwriter, live on the West Coast, and win the Academy Award for best screenplay. (Do you think a Muppets/Out of Control mash-up would win in the Original or Adapted category? Probably original.)

Somehow between elementary school and adulthood I stopped writing. I have been generally content with my non-writing life, except when I watch movies like Good Will Hunting which leave me thinking "I can do that." (My scoutmaster always said, "Novices make easy look hard; experts make hard look easy.")

So, after rewatching Good Will Hunting last fall, I made a goal to write more this year. I managed a few chapters of pure rubbish and realized that before I could write more I needed to read more. (Always open to recommendations. I discovered tonight the audio version of Nick Hornby's Slam is read by Nicholas Hoult. Be still my heart!) And so even though I'm not writing yet, I'm reading fiction again. I consider it research to make my writing better. I'm sure my future readers (all four of them) will thank me one day.

My other main goal was to sing again. All through high school, music was my main outlet for, well, for me. In college I sang with BYU's Men's Chorus. When my wife and I first got married, given my sexual preferences, we often joked that I was a tenor in every sense of the word. (Apologies to any straight tenors--I'm sure there are a few of you out there though I doubt they are reading my blog--who feels maligned by my stereotyping.)

Then I got a job and a family and soon found myself making less and less time for music. This year I was going to rediscover this great love. With this goal too I haven't done as much as I'd hoped, but I am looking forward to singing in a choir again very soon. We will be singing with a small ensemble in England later this summer. The first week will be singing with some sightseeing (and fish and chips and much Cadbury I'm sure). The second week will be exclusively for sightseeing (and Indian takeaway and more Cadbury).  As I look forward to this coming vacation I admit I am more excited about the first week than the second. (We'll be singing in a cathedral! I can't wait.)

So there it is: me, embracing my true self again (albeit imperfectly).