Monday, February 24, 2014

How would I react?

I've been trying to figure out what the purpose of an anonymous blog about homosexuality like this is. It's not a journal, since I am reticent to share too many personal details. Recently I realized that it would be a great place to help me figure out where I stand on topics relating to homosexuality. So I figured I'd start taking different questions and work through in writing where I stand on the issue. A favorite college professor of mine advocated writing as one of the best ways to crystallize your thinking. Please feel free to share your thoughts in the comments to help me consider alternate opinions. Let's start with this one:

How would I react if my son told me he was gay?
For my wife that's an easy one. "I'd hug him and then we'd go shoe shopping."

Humor aside, I too would hug him and express how much I loved him. I would definitely thank him for feeling close enough with me to be willing to share something so personal. I would make sure that he knew that no matter what, I would always love him. And then I would try my hardest to actually align my actions with those words.

I would also encourage him to stay close to Heavenly Father. Having blessed my son as a baby, I see great potential for him. I can only imagine the potential Heavenly Father sees in him. I would encourage him to keep the commandments and to put his trust in God. I have seen too many miracles to doubt that Heavenly Father wants to bless His children.

If my son entered into a serious same-sex relationship, how would I react?
This one's a little more difficult. This paragraph I rewrote three times, before giving up. In the end I realized I can't realistically say how I would react. I would definitely pray to be filled with love and compassion for him and wisdom in how to respond. I would ask Heavenly Father to bless me with a vision of the son He sees. I would ask Him how He wants me to proceed.

How would I not react if my son came out to me?
There are lots of things I would not do. I would definitely NOT encourage him to get married as a cure for his homosexual urges. That said, I would encourage him to keep his eye out for that special woman. The reason my marriage has worked has less to do with me and more to do with my wife's understanding heart being prepared to accept me and my homosexual inclinations before we started dating.

I read about parents who embrace their child's homosexual attractions so much that they become the child's biggest gay cheerleader. I know that would not be my reaction. I would not march along side him in Gay Pride events. I am grateful that the world is more open and accepting of gays, but question the benefits of celebrating someone's coming out, especially when that coming out is accompanied by an attitude of unwillingness to consider the possibility of finding joy in a mixed orientation marriage.