Today during Ward Council we learned a ward member recently went inactive in part because they disagree with the church's stance on gay marriage. One council member pointed out that the Lord's standards are the same for homosexuals as for everyone else: sex is permitted only between a man and a woman properly married. If you're not married, no sex whether you are homosexual or heterosexual.
Another person explained how they tried to "help" this person by sending an email that explains that while we love people who expeience "same-sex attraction" the Lord's standards of chastity will never change and homosexuality is considered wrong in God's eyes. It is contrary to the plan of happiness that Heavenly Father has prepared for us. (The "helping" not surprisingly has not translated in increased activity.)
Then a third person chimed in and repeated essentially the same arguments as the first two, though added that sometimes people say they have doubt's because they don't want to give up their sins. I see this now for the echo chamber that it is.
As I reflect on this experience I sorrow because of my own personal lack of spine. If I could get a redo, I hope I would say something like, "If someone expresses a doubt about a particular doctrine, perhaps the best way to persuade them to stay with the church isn't to keep reiterating the doctrine they disagree with. This only reinforces the fact that we think they are wrong. Perhaps instead we should just say, 'There are things I don't agree with, doctrines I don't understand. Keep coming to church to invite the Lord into your life. Keep taking the sacrament to renew the commitments you made at baptism. That's all God asks. Feel free to disagree with points of doctrine if you believe strongly about an issue.'"
The problem is really that last bit. How can you disagree with a doctrine the Church is SO vocal about and stay active? If you made your opinion known vocally every time gay marriage came up in church, you would quickly be labeled the ward apostate.