This article patting the Church on the back for mourning with families of LGBT who have committed suicide is making the rounds. I too applaud the Church for it's kind words. But words are not enough.
As an institution we kick you out, then we say through a spokesman that we cry with your family when you kill yourself because among other reasons you didn't feel wanted.
The article says parents should create "healthy, constructive relationships and environments." Then gives as an example, "Elder Dallin H. Oaks of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints once was asked how he would respond if his 17-year-old son said he was gay. 'You’re my son,' Elder Oaks said. 'You will always be my son, and I'll always be there to help you.'" This is nice. Exactly the response a parent should give if backed up by action.
Unfortunately the Deseret News article doesn't quote Elder Oaks later in the same interview when he said, "I can also imagine some circumstances in which it might be possible to say, ‘Yes, come, but don’t expect to stay overnight. Don’t expect to be a lengthy house guest. Don’t expect us to take you out and introduce you to our friends, or to deal with you in a public situation that would imply our approval of your "partnership"."
In other words, "I love you son (with my mouth and lips), but my heart is far from you."
This is the problem with the Church's current rhetoric: it is words without action.
I was in mourning again today as the church doubled down on it's exclusionary policy. So I wanted to take stock of my testimony.
Things I believe:
1.) I have witnessed many miracles that strengthened my faith in God. Would I call it a perfect knowledge? No, but it's definitely moving in that direction.
2.) I believe God is there watching over all of us, including the weak, old sinner me.
3.) I believe that Christ has the power to save us all, if we will come to Him and develop charity. (Even our LGBT brothers and sisters who enter into same-sex marriages.)
4.) I believe God wanted me to marry my wife, even though part of me really wanted to find my own personal Joseph Gordon-Levitt.
I apparently like guys in ties
5.) I also believe in the power of personal revelation.
Corollary to #5: I believe that someone who is not me (see #4) may pray to their Heavenly Father and feel that He has said that gay marriage is ok (for them).
Things I know:
1.) I know without a shadow of a doubt, with every fiber of my being that gay marriage is WAY WAY better than random gay sexual hookups. Thus I am happy for my gay friends when they establish long-term, committed relationships. (And yes, I will attend their weddings if invited.)
2.) I know that forcible rape is a much worse sin than gay marriage. (I'm pretty sure than sexual abuse and attempted murder are too.)
3.) I know that children of gay couples are loved by our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ as much as children of heterosexual couples. And they need the gift of the Holy Ghost just as much as their neighborhood friends who are allowed to be baptized.
4.) I know that children of gay couples will learn about love and charity and kindness in ways that children who happen to be raised by a father and a mother will not.
5.) I know that I love my wife (see note below) and my awesome family (see here).
Things I don't know:
1.) If my wife died, I don't know whether or not I would enter into a homosexual relationship.
Seriously. No idea. (So don't even think about dying, dear.)
Perhaps I could find some other gaymobro who wanted to stay a non-practicing homosexual. (Maybe he'd have a sexy British accent. Even better if he looked like Damien Lewis. I don't normally go for gingers, but am willing to make exceptions.)
And suits
We could enjoy a monogamous, celibate life together. You know we would totally get married, just to mess with the people at Church (capital C). And who knows, if it turns out homosexuality is ok in the next life, my partner could also be sealed to my wife and we'd all live in a state of celestial, polyandrous, ménage à trois bliss.
Footnote: Why I love my wife: reason 979
Today when I was feeling grouchy (see link above), I opened my email to find a note from my wife.
It consisted of just this clip and two words: "You're welcome"
