Thursday, March 31, 2016

What if one of my sons is gay?

After posting on Facebook this article "Is the Pearl Too Great a Price?" about LGBT suicide, I was asked how I would react if one of my sons came out to me. Would I encourage him to act on his homosexual feelings or encourage him to stay with the church and remain celibate? (This is not an unlikely scenario since I suspect one of my sons is gay.*)

Here was my response:

If one of my sons (biologically it would most likely be the last because later birth order significantly increases the likelihood of being gay) comes out to me here is what I will do (or try to do... no one is perfect).

  1. I will make sure he knows that I love him no matter what 
  2. I will teach him that he needs the Holy Ghost in his life 
  3. I will remind him that I will love him no matter what
  4. I will also remind that promiscuity does not promote spirituality. (Sex before marriage is a bad idea, even for gay marriage. If he decides he is going to act on his gay desires, but can't find a guy willing to wait until after they get married, perhaps he's not the right guy.)
  5. I will teach him to fast to know the will of the Lord for him, to study the scriptures, to invite the Lord into their life through prayer
  6. I will reiterate that I love him
  7. I will invite him to talk with one or two of my MoHo friends who have managed successful mixed orientation marriages. (I did not add that I would likely come out to him, but when the time is right, I likely would.)
  8. Then if he decides to enter into a mixed orientation marriage, I will ask him to make sure that he is certain before he takes the plunge, reminding him of both the blessings that will be his as well as the unique challenges he will face, reminding him that President Hinkley has warned that gay members not marry as a cure for homosexuality.
  9. If he does get married (in either direction), I will rejoice with him in his entering a relationship that will require him to sacrifice and love in a way he never has before.
  10. I will pray that the Lord never give up on saving him (and his spouse) regardless of what happens.
  11. I will love him.

* And here are my son's current crushes
Not the raccoon, in case you were curious.
And this one... of which I whole-heartedly approve:

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