As a teenager, my church leaders sold a false dichotomy: heterosexual marriage or the “gay lifestyle” (which consisted of cruising and anonymous sex and eventually loneliness, despair, and death, likely from AIDS). I remember one night as I was falling to sleep I had a clear vision of two possible paths my life could go: I could have a family with a wife and kids or I could have a loving relationship with a man. That was when I realized that I didn't have to buy into the “gay lifestyle” narrative. In the end, though, back then I couldn't have both a family and a gay partner. I chose a family (and I have an amazing family).
Today these two visions are no longer incompatible. If I were coming to manhood now instead of back in the 90’s, I could have a gay husband and we could adopt a family. (How awesome is that!)